Playing the What If Game

The details encourage me!  Occasionally, when I am digging in God’s Word, I discover a little nugget of gold, a clause or phrase that I have read so many times.  But then I will see it and remember that “the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)  It works for me, in this moment, at this place, every day!

 

Today the gold was hiding in the story of Joseph and his brothers when they were reunited in Egypt.  If you haven’t read it for a while, you can find it in Genesis 42-47.  After keeping the faith for years, coming to a position of great power, forgiving his brothers and acknowledging God’s place and control in everything that happened to him, Joseph reveals himself and his forgiveness to his brothers.  A happy reunion, many tears, and great feasting result. 

 

Joseph then sends his brothers back to Canaan to bring their father Jacob and their families and belongings again to Egypt to settle in the best of the land by Pharaoh’s orders, to be nourished and taken care of during the remaining five years of famine that will still come.

 

Joseph has very carefully explained to his brothers that God brought him to Egypt and that he has forgiven them completely.  He has prepared great material comfort for their trip home and the return and they are on their way.  But the payout comes in Genesis 45:24: “So he sent his brothers away, and they departed; and he said to them, ‘See that you do not become troubled along the way.’”  

 

I love this!  He was telling them not to get on the road and start overanalyzing and playing the what if game.  What if he has trapped us?  What if he plans to get us all to Egypt just to enslave us?  What if he didn’t really forgive us at all?

 

Do you ever do that?  How many times have I left Walmart and thought, “Why did that lady look at me that way?  Did I hurt her feelings?”  Or on the way home from church, “What did she mean by that?  Maybe she is mad at me.”  The list goes on and on… food to nourish dislike, jealousy, insecurity. 

 

Over analysis after the fact…the “what if game.”  Nobody wins and I am going to take it off my list of activities!

Sharks and My Martha Complex

It all began with a six-foot inflatable shark.  I can’t remember where I saw it – Facebook, Pinterest, some ad pop-up – but I was excited by the possibilities.  The thing flies!  Remote control!  And I imagined excited children shrieking and running through fellowship hall.  All right, there may have been some crying little ones but once their moms explained that it was harmless, they would join in the fun.

I started to consider the best time to launch this.  Unfortunately Vacation Bible School didn’t have an “Under the Sea” theme this year.  No baby showers coming up with an aquarium theme. And the price tag, about $27, was a bit steep for a one-time fun surprise; but it would be worth it.  Then there was the helium requirement…about $30 for a tank because I couldn’t see waltzing into Walmart and asking them to inflate my 72-inch shark, although it would’ve been great to see the reactions as I left the store.

 

 Somewhere between the discovery and my checkbook, my common sense kicked in.  And I realized that this was not really about the kids at all.  This was about my being seen as cool, as having been the one to make this great find and present it to everyone else.

 

My thoughts wandered.  How many times have I slaved over a fancy dessert, feverishly cleaned my house, or worked to get a presentation just right?  Why did I do it?  I’d like to believe I wanted to give enjoyment, make people feel at home in my house, whatever noble reason I came up with at the time.  Truth is I wanted to look good, to be perceived as smart or talented.  If I had been truly “loving my neighbor as myself”, I wouldn’t have had nearly the stress associated with the work!

 

Martha stood preparing (and most likely fuming) in the kitchen while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, listening, learning.  Finally she worked herself up enough steam to charge in and ask Jesus why he had not sent Mary in to help her.  True, she was concerned with feeding Jesus and the disciples; but Jesus could have pointed out to her that some of her hard work was no doubt rooted in pride.  He chose, however, to emphasize the positive instead (although an unfavorable comparison to her sister probably did not feel much like it to Martha).  

 

“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.  She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’  ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’  (Luke 10:40-42)

 

When I do for others, caring more about their comfort and enjoyment than their perception of me, I realize that they are easier to please than some ideal that I try to achieve.  I relax and they are at ease.  So don’t expect to be amazed by a floating six-foot shark moving through the fellowship hall any time soon.  However, if you’d like to surprise me with one, I’ll gladly send you the information!

When I Keep Silent

Why is it that I equate praying with talking to God?  Why do I feel like it is my responsibility to not only “keep up my end of the conversation” but also to not give Him a chance to talk at all?  And yet, there are times when I do feel the need to talk and I do not have the words.

Yes, He longs to communicate with us and that’s why prayer is best done with the Word open.  Consistent, planned personal Bible study is the way that He says the most to us.  And He does use other believers to encourage us and to remind us of those passages that He wants us to remember.  And He does speak to us through His creation.  When we give Him the time…

But sometimes I feel the real need to do the talking and I cannot.  Often I have a real concern for a friend and I don’t even know why!  Or my family is heavy on my heart.  And my words either won’t come or don’t feel sufficient.  I know that the Holy Spirit is there speaking for me – “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses.  For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”  (Romans 8:26)

Earlier this week, I was feeling so loved and so overwhelmed with God’s gracious goodness.  And I sat looking out my porch window trying to figure out how to express my deep thanks.  And nothing came!  I read Psalms, but even those verses did not seem to express what I wanted to say.  Then as I sat quietly, I heard the song of one bird.  As my ears adjusted and strained to hear, more bird songs joined the first one.  And I smiled as I realized that they were praising God.  So on that morning I listened and let them express for me what I so wanted God to know.

Psalm 69:34; 148:7-13
Let heaven and earth praise Him, the seas and everything that moves in them…Praise the LORD  from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children. Let them praise the name of the LORD, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens

With Wonder

When I returned from a women’s conference where there was a big bookstore, of course I carried books!  One of them is a book of meditations by John Piper called “Taste and See.”  And when I saw that one is entitled, “The Great Work of God:  Rain”, I was certainly interested.  I do love a good, hard rain!  Or a soft, gentle one.

 

In this short essay, he meditates on Job 5:8-10,”But as for me, I would seek God, and I would place my cause before God; Who does great and unsearchable things, wonders without number.  He gives rain on the earth, and sends water on the fields.”  He asks the question, “Is rain a great and unsearchable wonder wrought by God?”

 

I tend to think that everything – sun rising, rivers rushing, my blood running – is not only accomplished by God, but is also easy for Him.  We talk about His working to keep the universe and our lives on track with His plan and I consider that I must have great faith because I believe He can do that without a problem.  And, of course, He can!  But here is why that is bad thinking…I lose my sense of wonder in the world.  It is not great faith but laziness that causes me to just accept that He does it all.  He is a working God and the miracle of creation and its maintenance never stops.

 

John Piper goes on to describe a farmer in the Near East whose fields are far from any lake or stream.  How will he water crops?  He won’t; but God can.  That water must come from the sky through an amazing process of water (144,735,360 pounds of it!) carried from the Mediterranean Sea (salt removed!) and dropped in droplets big enough to fall for a mile or so without evaporating on their way to the crops and yet small enough not to injure the plants.

 

When I take time to meditate and investigate the great wonder of God’s daily work, that’s when my faith is increased.  Let me not lose my sense of wonder!

 

Psalm 8:3-5

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?  You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.