Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Know He Was Praying

Super-creepy, yet kind of sweet. We became well-acquainted on the short trip. I hopped in the car and started moving slowly down the narrow streets of our community. I was headed into town to work in Vacation Bible School and I was running a little late. As I slowed to make the last turn, I looked left and then right and then at my driver’s side mirror. There he sat.

I’m not crazy about bugs; but I’m not totally freaked out by them either. I prepared myself to encounter them when I made the decision to move to a warm southern climate. So when I saw the dignified little praying mantis sitting on the top of my mirror, I just smiled at him and he smiled back. I sat at the stop sign for a moment to give him time to hop down. He declined.

So I made my turn and increased my speed to twenty-five. His little praying hands unclasped and started clutching for something to hold onto. I slowed down to give him one more chance to bail. He declined.

I left the plantation and revved my speed up to thirty-five. His feelers were flapping in the wind and I’m pretty sure that’s when the praying started. I had a hard time driving and watching him at the same time. If I had cared about him as much as I led him to believe, I would have stopped the car and helped him down. But I was late for VBS.

So I turned out onto the highway and upped the pace to fifty-five. Head down and battling the wind, he discovered that he could go under the lip of the mirror and hunker down a little. His legs managed to stay put but every part of his body was shuddering against the wind. Please understand, I felt terrible. But I was late for VBS.

I pulled into the parking lot and stopped the car. I said a little prayer and apology for my new friend. I knew he was dead and I was not looking forward to having to remove his frail little form.

To my complete delight, one long leg tentatively swung up onto the top of the mirror. Slowly he pulled himself back up on top. Then he began to groom himself! Now I don’t know what he was smoothing down – whether feathers, or scales, or gills. But he had something there to flatten out. Then he took each long leg in turn and stretched it as far as it would go to be sure everything was still working.

Then he once again settled in to pray and I left to go fix beanie weenies, a clear conscience with my own short prayer of thanks.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Is This How It Is?

On these hot, sticky summer days, only a short window of time opens between the blast of hot air that hits you when you go outside and the coming dark that brings the hoard of insects that swarm and buzz. You know the ones that make you go dancing across the yard flailing at your head with both hands and swatting at the backs of your uncovered legs.

But oh, the sweetness of that time just before sunset when the air lifts a bit and the breeze kicks up. You can almost imagine the comfort outside that you felt on those spring days before the furnace was lit.

Today Steve and a friend were going out to play nine holes of golf and I went along for the ride. To begin with, if you want to walk for exercise in this weather, you need to start by at least 7:30 AM; and if you need to know why I wasn’t on the street at that time, look for some of my older posts that explain my morning mentality. No, don’t bother. I can sum it up in two words – grouchy and incoherent.

Therefore at 7:00 tonight when Steve and his friend were meeting, I still had not exercised. So I took my book, a big bottle of water, and hit the cart paths on foot while they golfed. As I walked, I immersed myself in the breezes, the shade and the sheer beauty of my surroundings. I wanted so badly to praise God, but my Psalms memory is scant. I went over and over the few verses I do know and I mouthed song lyrics silently. The men were trying to golf after all.

After I had walked far enough to deserve some time on wheels, I settled in to ride the cart and read. I was taken by the fact that the air felt cool and the colors were so vivid. May I just take a moment and insert a good word for Eudora Welty? She's a southern author from Mississippi and her descriptions pick you up and set you down in whatever cotton field or big white country house she's inhabiting. I was deep in her book and I'm sure she's why I was so aware of my surroundings.


I needed to make a quick stop and we were behind our friend’s house. He suggested I go in and let his dog out to ride with us all.

As I came out of the house with the dog, our friend called and the dog went running across the course to meet him. The grass was an intense color of green and they looked so happy to see each other. And I couldn’t help but think of those stories I’ve heard of people who dream about seeing their loved ones in heaven running with their pets.

And as I watched the two men walking off the green talking and laughing, I was so aware of the presence of God that I began to cry. I was absorbed in this beautiful place with good people who were so completely enjoying the day. And, best of all, God was there in a palpable sense.


Heaven is not so very far away. We can get a sense of it when we just allow God to walk with us in the cool of the day.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Looking Out for Number 6,856,559,598

I wonder when it starts to flipflop. When we were children in Sunday school, we learned the lessons – Jesus loves me, do unto others as you would like for them to do to you, share, be kind, and don’t talk back. (I’m not sure that the last one is word for word Biblical except for honor your parents and respect those in authority, but we really heard it a lot.) And we got it! If you treated other people with kindness, they would do the same for you. And the world seemed right-side-up.

Then we went out to play and got chosen last in dodge ball. And we started to look at how our brothers and sisters and the neighborhood kids were faring. And we began to wonder if we had it as good as they did. Were we getting everything we needed? We entered school and our horizons broadened and we began to wonder “am I getting mine?” And slowly it began to tip.

Because this upside-down living that Jesus asks from us is often more about us than it is about Him. Let me explain.

I’ve mentioned John 3:30 before: “He must become greater; I must become less.” Jesus’ first and greatest commandment in Matthew, Mark and Luke is, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30) This one we know and we don’t argue with it! We struggle and forget and ask forgiveness, but it is there in our minds as something important and we completely agree with it.

The second commandment of Jesus is where we begin to war with the world. “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Mark 12:31) As myself? Are you kidding? I mean, I do love my family that much and I have friends, good friends, and well, most of the people I know from church. I love all of them and, most of the time, I am good to them and sometimes I think I love them as myself.

But really, that lady at the store that looks at me funny? Love her as much as myself? And the guy who cut me off in traffic and then lowered his window to scream at me? And the neighbor who keeps asking me to come over and help her decide where to move her shrubs?

And this thing is two-pronged! Not only am I supposed to love those people as much as I do myself (and they’re not that loveable), I'm also not supposed to care about what the world tells me is so important.


But the Home and Garden network is telling me that I’m supposed to care more about how my house is decorated! And Bravo is telling me that I am going to have to have a heap more money if I plan to be one of the Housewives of Clarendon County. Don’t you sometimes want to just scream at the world “am I invisible here?” All I have to do is turn on any tv channel and watch for fifteen minutes and it’s obvious I’m not measuring up.

The saying goes, “Jesus first, everybody else second (just so you know, that’s where the huge number came from), me third.” As I said, most of us don’t have a problem with the Jesus first concept. We get it and we try to do it. It’s the “everybody else second" piece of it that challenges us. Because the world says that if we aren’t looking out for ourselves, if we aren’t obsessed with how we look and what we have, we don’t belong.

If we follow Jesus in His commandment, we honestly are not of this world and we will never be completely comfortable here. But that has nothing to do with feeling at peace here. When I am wrapped up in “am I getting everything that is due me,” I am headed down a road that will leave me unsatisfied. But when I am concerned more with how to love someone else, I have the mind of Jesus and He is the Prince of Peace.

John 14:27
Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Futility Is Useless

I know of futility. According to the Random House Dictionary, it’s “the quality of being futile; ineffectiveness; uselessness.” American Heritage adds even more weight with “the quality of having no useful result, lack of importance of purpose.” I’m not preaching today. I’m trying to work out some issues in a public place. If you want to hang in, better grab a flyswatter.

As so often happens, I’m finding several sources combining to give me a message this week. You know how you study something in Sunday school and then the pastor preaches about it? Yeah, it’s like that. I’m preparing to lead a Bible study by Jennifer Rothschild called “Me, Myself & Lies”.

The lesson I was studying yesterday talks about “fact labels”. Some of the labels we give ourselves are subjective and may be true or not, e.g. friendly, funny, unlikable, popular, depending on who’s applying them. But we also have fact labels that are as they are and will probably not change, e.g. mom, daughter, senior, retired. It’s those last two that have been giving me fits over the past year and a few months. You see, even though they are facts, how we interpret them and apply them to our attitudes can change the way we face day-to-day life.

As most of you know (and many of you probably wish I’d finally be quiet about), I’ve struggled with layers of depression during this time. And if there was one word that I would apply, it would be “futility”. I don’t think I recognized that until recently. All I know is I worked and studied and worked some more, all the while feeling useless and without purpose. And I saw that also as laziness.

So yesterday afternoon, my lazy self is sitting down to study my Sunday school lesson. It’s about acting on faith and I’m planning to cruise right through since I know so much about faith, right? Yeah. God is so very patient with me. This week’s lesson was actually about acting on faith.

I’m “acting” in several ways. After much prayer, I have felt God’s leading in several areas including leading Bible studies and starting a mentoring ministry. I believe those are in His will for me and I am excited to do them. So why was I still feeling useless and lazy?

The lesson referred to Psalms 78:12-39 and discussed how the Lord had led the Israelites out of Egypt and rained down miracle after miracle on them to provide for their needs, often in response to their complaints. Finally “the wrath of God came against them, and slew the stoutest of them, and struck down the choice men of Israel (v. 31).” And still they sinned and did not believe.

Then I read verse 33 and God pulled out His highlighter and showed it to me again, big-time. “Therefore their days He consumed in futility, and their years in fear.” I wouldn’t say I have lived my last year in fear, but there has definitely been an element of hopelessness there. In this beautiful place, with these sweet and wonderful people, how is that even possible?

God has dealt with me over the last two days with that verse alone. Because you see, there is an element in my life where I have refused to believe Him. I say He wants me to write, He has even given me writing, and yet I have not moved forward in this area. The author of our study book talked about a decision she and her husband could not seem to make even though they had prayed over it for a while. They finally realized that God was asking them to step out in faith. I believe that is what He is asking of me.

I don’t know yet what that looks like. Perhaps I will push to get the things I have written published or perhaps I will get back into a project or two. I just know He intends for me to show Him that I believe He will deliver what I need to do this.

And just for my added amusement (I so love God’s sense of humor), I woke up yesterday morning with a crick in my neck, a slight twinge that worsened as the day progressed. By this morning, it was sore to the point that I could barely turn my head to the right. You guessed it. I had literally become a stiff-necked person.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Look! No Hands!

Know what I do when my mood starts to drop? I check my email! Because something in me always thinks that outside circumstances will intervene to save my day, will steer my life in the right direction without my even having to drive. Even when I’ve prayed about something and asked for help, first thing I usually do is go check the mail, check my email, or go look on Facebook. Not that I haven’t had miracle answers that came by email or snail mail. But usually my answer is to wait, keep hoping, keep praying, read scripture, get busy or some other process that involves me and not circumstances.

A new flip phone ad I saw the other day so completely plays into this. A guy is incredibly happy with his life because of his new girlfriend that he met at some store that he found on Facebook or some other networking site that he plugged into via his new flip phone. He now has this perfect life and all he had to do was buy the right phone!

Isn’t the thought of “fate” stepping in and changing our world an exciting prospect? It’s why so many movies are made with that story line. Look at “Serendipity”, “Sleepless in Seattle”, even – no especially – , “An Affair to Remember”. They all have a plotline, some element or key scene that depends on fate intervening in the characters' lives. That moment when eyes lock, a check arrives, an accident occurs, or a stranger approaches and lives change.

Sometimes it actually works! For years I surfed and looked for houses on my laptop, all over the place, not just in northern Virginia. And one day I decided to pursue lakes in South Carolina. I fell in love with a little house with lot of built-in bookshelves. And destiny - GOD - intervened and led us to that very house. Steve and I both know for certain that it was where we were meant to be. Every day just proves it more.

Here’s the flip side of all this. The way God wants us to live is exactly as I’ve described. No, not compulsively checking email every ten minutes or looking for our life changes on the internet. But giving up complete control. To Him.

He’s bigger, richer, smarter, more loving, and knows us better than we know ourselves! Plus He has these really great plans for our lives. Why then is it so hard to just let Him have control? It’s hard not to think of Him as too big (“Why would He care about my little worries and plans?”) or too small (“Sure, I believe, He will provide my needs today but this is my whole LIFE we’re talking about.”).

Truth is, He’s both big enough to handle our futures and caring enough to want to help us with every small detail. He loves to step in and turn our shoulders in the direction that is best for us. And because He adores and delights in us, we can trust Him completely. Plus He sees the big picture that we can’t see! Hands off the wheel and watch for the excitement of living life out of control!

Psalm 20:4; Psalm 33:10, 11, 13-15; Proverbs 16:9; Jeremiah 29:11
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed…The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations…From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do…In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Monday, July 5, 2010

Cool, Clear Water

Summer heat brings it on, that always thirsty feeling. I’m trying to monitor what I spend those hot summer afternoons guzzling. The morning is pretty well set – two really huge cups of coffee with cream and sometimes sugary flavoring syrups. And we’re not messing with that, okay?

But after lunch is when the real thirst starts. I got an interesting email about Coke™ vs water. You may have seen it and the facts are startling:

75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

Even mild dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.

Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

There were also a number of pretty gross facts about Coke™, but I checked them out on Snopes and, thankfully, they were exaggerated. I’m glad because sometimes nothing but a cold Coke will do the trick, am I right? While I did not research each of the water facts, I did enough reading to know that they make sense.

When we’re thirsty, really thirsty, only water gets into our bodies and does its good work. I don’t think any of us will argue that fact. But what about drinking all the water we need to keep operating at an optimum level?

I’m sitting on the porch and I’m thinking, how will I do this? I could buy some Perrier™ or some flavored seltzer. But the bubbles are a whole other thing and not so good for me. I could buy some of those little flavor packets to put into my bottle of water.

Why not just drink the straight stuff, the pure, clean water? Isn’t this how we approach church and Bible study? “I wasn’t crazy about that message – why can the preacher not shake in a packet of ‘feel good’ and ‘abundant living’. I don’t want to just read the Bible – it’s boring. Why not add some sugar Bible study to liven it up?”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I love “feel good” and “abundant living” and a good Bible study energizes me and gets me moving in the right direction. But the water – the living water, the Good News – is just fine on its own. It gives me all the energy and peace I need when I remember to get my full amount every day.

Jeremiah 2:13; John 4:13, 14
My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water…Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”