Directions Unplugged

When we moved to South Carolina, Manning in particular, we had to ask for directions a lot. Fond of mapquest.com and Google maps, I would say, “Just give me the address and I’ll go look it up.” The remainder of the conversation would go something like this:

“…and if you don’t know the number, just tell me the street name and I can find it online.”
“I don’t know the name of the street. But if you go to the Simpsons’ old plant place just after second water, that street just after it is the one.”
“I didn’t know the Simpsons, so I don’t know where their plant place was. And I don’t know what second water means.”
“Okay, once you go a piece past Lane’s … you know Lane’s?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that’s first water.”

And back and forth we’d go until I would finally have an idea where I was going. As a result, I learned no street names.

Yesterday someone asked me where I get my hair cut.

I said, “I don’t know the name of the street; but if you go toward town, when you get to where the old Walmart was, turn right. It’s down a ways on the left across from the fire station and a couple of doors down from The Dog House.”

Imagine my pleasure as it suddenly dawned on me. I am assimilated!