Life in the Wild

Life pounds with excitement here at the ranch. I receive some tough family news on Wednesday. So I'm already fragile and teary. And Chloe is driving me crazy, will not shut up and will not leave the wall unit, where the books are, alone. Finally I’ve had it. Refuse to cry anymore – might as well play some Nintendo. I go over to the corner and reach down to pick up my Nintendo by the wall unit. I catch a flash of something long and slithery. I'm thinking RATS, it’s a snake. So I jump up and see this lizard about 8 inches long just as he darts back behind the wall unit.

Steve gets home from golf and I’m crying again and blubbering something about lizards. He calms me down and we call the exterminator who says there’s nothing we can do but get a broom and chase him out. Or we could go to Walmart and get some of those glue trays and trap him. So we go to Walmart.

When we get back, there he stands by the back door. I get rid of the dogs and Steve sneaks around and opens the back door via the porch. Then he comes in with a broom and says “I’m going to scare him outside.” I’m saying “NO! What if he just runs across the room and then he’s got access to the bedroom!” I park myself on a stool to watch him and Steve says, “Okay then. I’m going to the pool.” (I KNOW, right?)

He goes to the pool and for the next 2 hours the dogs and I chase the lizard all over the house. By this time I’m feeling sorry for the little guy because Chloe is...well...big! And I’m not about to glue his little feet to a trap. So Steve comes home and, you guessed it, I’m sobbing again – this time because I’m feelin’ it for the lizard. He’s trapped in the dining room and he’s too tired to even get up on the bookcase. Long story short (I know, too late) we get some big empty plastic boxes and eventually corral him and put the top on and I release him into the wild. At the time, I never thought I’d laugh about it. But I have to say, now I wish I had a video.

Then today Chloe just snaps right out of her collar chasing a rabbit. Steve’s yelling out the back, “Chloe’s loose! I’ll get the golf cart!” Understand, when she got loose in Woodbridge, I was desperate. But here? It’s more funny than anything. Steve goes charging across lawns in the golf cart yelling, “Chloe! Get in the house!” And he’s literally herding her with the golf cart from side to side. She can outrun Steve but she knows she can't outrun the cart. I’m standing in the yard thinking, I should be concerned about this but I can’t concentrate for the theme from Rawhide that’s playing in my brain. Yeehaw!